Brave Boy

Once upon a time a boy named Alfredo was walking to his girlfriend Mendebra’s house. On his way, he encountered an old man sitting on the sidewalk, begging for change.

“Change?” asked the man, extending an open hand expectantly. His long grey beard was matted and full of crumbs.

“Sorry,” said Alfredo. “I don’t have any money.”

“No money?” The man stood up and stood face to face with Alfredo. His coat was stained with what appeared to be mustard and mayonnaise.

“I really have nothing,” said Alfredo. “I promise.”

“No money with a fancy hat like that?” scoffed the filthy beggar. His breath smelled of urine.

“Hat?” asked Alfredo. He was confused because he wasn’t wearing a hat. “This is just my hair. It’s called a faux hawk.”

“I know what it’s called, Pippi.” The old man was becoming agitated.

“I really ought to be going,” said Alfredo anxiously.

“You’re telling me,” slurred the man. He took a drunken swing at Alfredo, but Alfredo easily sidestepped it. The old coot lost his balance and tumbled to the ground. Lacking the fine motor skills to brace his fall, his face hit the pavement, breaking his nose and several of his teeth.

“Are you all right?” asked Alfredo.

“You bet I’m all right you peppermint patty.” The bum barely managed those words without choking on the blood running down his face and into his mouth.

Alfredo began to say something else, but thought better of it. Instead, he turned his back to the bloody mess of a man and headed toward Mendebra’s house.

“Go on, get,” shouted the man. “Go on to your precious Candy Land.”

Alfredo kept walking to Mendebra’s house; the old beggar’s absurdities faded in the distance. He finally arrived at the house and rang the doorbell. No one answered. Alfredo tried the doorknob. The door was unlocked so he opened it and went inside.

“Hello? Mendebra?” called Alfredo. There was no answer. Alfredo climbed the stairs and knocked on Mendebra’s bedroom door. After hearing nothing, he entered her room, but she was not there. Instead, a naked fireman reclined on the bed.

“Greetings, my child,” said the fireman.

“Child? You’re not my dad,” said Alfredo. “Where’s Mendebra?”

“She is somewhere far away from here. To get her back, you must face a number of trials.”

“Which number?”

The fireman ignored him. “If you can best the magic of the other world, you will have your Mendebra returned to you. Place your hand on my chest and you will be teleported to your trials.”

“Well I don’t know much about magic, but my friend Rick does. Can he come too?”

“I don’t see why not,” said the fireman.

Alfredo pulled out his cell phone and called Rick. Alfredo and the fireman sat in silence, waiting for Rick to arrive. When Rick did arrive, he noticed the nude public servant on the bed. “Oh, a fireman,” said Rick, walking over to the bed and placing his hand on the fireman’s bare chest.

“How did you that you needed to put your hand on his chest to be teleported?” asked Alfredo.

“Teleported?” asked Rick. “What are you talking about?”

“I’ll explain later,” said Alfredo as he walked over to the fireman and put his own hand on the chest.

Alfredo’s palm began to tingle, pressed against the bare chest. The tingling quickly intensified into a searing burn. The skin of the fireman had become incredibly hot. Alfredo pulled his hand back and winced. He heard Rick cry out in pain as well. Alfredo opened his eyes to survey the damage done to his hand, but it was remarkably unscathed. The burning sensation had disappeared as well. He lifted his head to discover that he was no longer in Mendebra’s bedroom. Rock walls surrounded Alfredo; he was in some sort of cave. When he craned his head upward he saw that the walls stretched at least one hundred feet above him. At the top was an opening, letting light into the cavern.

“Where are we?” asked Rick.

“I don’t know,” said Alfredo. “The fireman told me that he would teleport me and that I would have to face magical trials to get Mendebra back.”

“Magic?” asked Rick. “Dang it Alfredo, you should have told me. I didn’t even bring my magic kit.”

“No, you didn’t, but you brought your magic soul. That is a gift far greater than any kit could offer.” Alfredo spotted an opening in the cave wall. “Look! Maybe that’s where we’re supposed to go.”

The two chums entered the opening and found themselves in a dark tunnel. They kept walking down the tunnel until they found themselves in a second lit clearing. There was no way out other than the tunnel that they had just come from, but on the wall directly across from the tunnel hung a mirror.

“I bet that there’s another tunnel behind that mirror,” said Rick.

“Good idea,” said Alfredo. “I’m a pretty strong kicker so I bet I can break the window.”

“Wait, Alfredo. Don’t—.” Rick tried to stop Alfredo, but he could not. Alfredo cocked his foot back and let loose a ferocious kick, but when his foot struck the mirror, it didn’t even budge.”

“Oooooowwwooooo,” Alfredo howled in pain.

“I tried to tell you,” said Rick. “You said that these trials were going to be magic, so it couldn’t be as easy as kicking the mirror.”

Alfredo was cross. “What’s your bright idea then?” he said.

Rick thought hard for a moment, and then spoke up. “OK, well I’m a really good looking guy. So maybe if I go up to the mirror and kiss my reflection it will look like I’m making out with myself. And maybe it will be so hot that it will melt the mirror.”

“But Rick, that sounds really dumb,” said Alfredo.

“Maybe,” said Rick, staring at the mirror. “But maybe not.”

Rick locked eyes with his reflection and a sly smile broke across his face. He confidently strode towards the mirror. He stopped a foot from his own reflection. Without breaking eye contact he reached out towards the mirror and lightly drew his fingertips upon it, his reflection met his caress. He stepped up to the mirror and pressed his chest against it. Rick closed his eyes and exhaled heavily. With his eyes still closed, Rick inched his face toward the mirror, he first brushed his nose against it, then he brought his lips up to the smooth surface. Alfredo could not look away; it was almost too stunning to behold.

After a few minutes, Rick removed his lips from the mirror and took a step back. Just as Rick predicted, the mirror melted away and there was another tunnel behind it.

“Rick, you were right!” exclaimed Alfredo. “I’m so lucky to have a friend like you.”

The pals entered the second tunnel, which was narrower than the first, and walked through it until they reached a third cavernous space. This time, there was no mirror. In fact, there was nothing at all besides the rocky walls.

“What are we supposed to do here?” asked Alfredo.

“I don’t know, but I really have to pee,” said Rick.

Rick walked up to one of the rock walls and began to urinate on it. Like magic, the rocks began to melt away under his stream, revealing a third tunnel.

“Amazing!” declared Alfredo. “What did you drink?”

“Who knows?” joked Rick.

The newly uncovered tunnel was so narrow that Rick and Alfredo had to get on their hands and knees to crawl through it. Their trousers became slightly moist when they had to crawl through the pee. When they reached the opening, they found a fourth clearing. In the center of the newest clearing stood a cylindrical rock column, about three feet tall. On top of the column was a large chalice with a liquid inside.

“Do you think we’re supposed to drink it?” asked Alfredo.

“That’s exactly what I think,” said Rick.

“What is it?” asked Alfredo.

Rick lifted the chalice to his lips and took a sip. “It’s apple juice.”

Rick put his lips to the chalice to drink once again, but Alfredo stopped him. “Wait!”

“What is it, Alfredo?”

“Let me drink it,” said Alfredo. “I know how you get when you drink apple juice.”

“Good idea,” said Rick, handing Alfredo the chalice.

Alfredo took this chalice in his hands, brought it to his mouth and began to drink. It was very good. A little warm, but good. When he drank all of the juice, shafts of light began to shoot out of the chalice. The light startled Alfredo and he set the chalice back on the column. The cave around them began to fade away as the light hit it. As the cave vanished, the two lads found themselves standing in a vast great hall. There were grand chandeliers, ornate stained-glass windows, and sitting at the head of a large table was a girl. It was Mendebra.

Alfredo ran to the table. “Mendebra!” he cried out to her in joy. When Alfredo reached Mendebra, he threw her arms around her.

“Mendebra, are you okay?” asked Alfredo.

Mendebra rose from her seat at the table and smiled unconvincingly. “Yes, I’m fine, Alfredo.”

“Great. I was so worried. Let’s get you out of here.” Alfredo took Mendebra’s hand and began to lead her away, but she did not move.

“Actually, I won’t be going with you, Alfredo,” said Mendebra solemnly.

“Mendebra…” Alfredo began.

“There’s someone else.”

Alfredo was without words.

“I met someone else. I’m sorry, Alfredo.”

Alfredo’s grasped at his chest, feeling for a sign that is heart was still beating. He couldn’t believe Mendebra’s words. Was it another test? What was he to do? Would he ever get out of this strange place? Suddenly, Alfredo’s thoughts were interrupted.

“Out of the way, ding dong,” demanded a gruff voice behind Alfredo.

Alfredo was then shoved to the ground. When he got up he saw the beggar that he encountered early that day standing beside Mendebra.

“I’m sorry, Alfredo,” Mendebra said. “It was all so sudden.”

“What is this?” shout Alfredo in disbelief. “Certainly you’re joking. This can’t be real.”

“Listen, squirrely, no one’s joking. Now scram,” commanded the bum.

But Alfredo would not take “no” for an answer. He lunged for Mendebra, but her feet lifted off the ground and she floated out of his reach. The beggar took Mendebra in his arms; seemingly in reaction to the embrace, shafts of light began to emerge from the airborne couple, just as they had from the chalice. A strange source of light seemed to be illuminating them from within as the held each other in the air. Then the old man pulled Mendebra close and met her in a deep, passionate, stale kiss. When their lips met, the light exploded from them, illuminating the entire room like a miniature sun. Alfredo could no longer see anything other than Mendebra, the bum, and the bum’s hands anxiously rubbing Mendebra’s thighs. The brightening light seemed to intensify their euphoric passion and vice versa. The light grew brighter and brighter until Alfredo could no longer see a thing. He couldn’t see the hall. He couldn’t see Rick. He couldn’t see the bum. He couldn’t see Mendebra. It was all gone.

The End.