Once upon a time there was a young boy named Julius. Julius was the smallest, weakest, dumbest boy in his town. No one liked Julius and he knew it. Julius had to gather his own food because his parents refused to feed him. When Julius asked his siblings if they would attend his cello recital, they laughed in his face. When Julius asked his uncle for help on his homework, his uncle responded, “Get lost, dummy.” And whenever the young children picked teams to play football, they all took turns plucking hairs from his forearm--the most tender area on his body--before starting the game.
Finally, Julius had enough. He decided that living anywhere else was better than living in his town, so he ran away.
When Julius finally stopped, he had arrived at a quaint wood cabin in the middle of the woods. The front door was painted a calm periwinkle and was flanked by a bed of daisies on each side. The smell of warm pie wafted through an open window and into Julius’ nostrils. The aroma made him realize how hungry he was. He decided that he had little to lose, approached the door and knocked twice.
An elderly woman opened to the door. She wore a pink apron patterned with gold bells and a similarly colored bandana on her head, covering all but a few short grey curls. Her rosy cheeks dimpled as she smiled at her new guest.
“Well hello, sonny. How may I help you?” she asked with a voice as warm as her pie.
“My name is Julius. I’ve run away from home and I hate to trouble you, but I’m terribly hungry and I was wondering if you might have some food scraps to spare,” said Julius.
The woman let out a hearty laugh. “Well I’m afraid I don’t have any scraps for you, but I do have a fresh pie. Come in and have a slice.”
Julius accepted and entered her home. He sat at her kitchen table, eating pie, drinking tea and laughing into the night.
“Well it’s far too late for you leave now,” said the woman. “You go into the guest bedroom and sleep there. There are some clothes in the dresser too. You must be awful cold wandering around naked like that.”
Julius’ heart jumped at the thought of wearing clothes. It was a luxury his family had always denied to him.
Julius put on the flannel pajamas and crawled into bed. He was sure that if his skin could verbally express itself, it would cry out in ecstasy at the feeling of the soft cotton bedding. His dirty thorn bed at home paled in comparison.
Julius drifted to sleep and was in the midst of a wonderful dream in which he was petting a beautiful dog, when he was awakened. He felt something warm spreading across his leg. When Julius fully awoke, he found that he was no longer in the comfortable bed but tied down to the kitchen table, naked once again. He looked down and found that the source of warmth on his leg was his own blood! The old woman had made a sizeable gash in his leg and was collecting the dripping blood in a jar beneath his leg.
“What are you doing to me?” asked Julius.
The old woman cackled. “I need to stock up on ingredients for my famous blood pies.”
Julius was shocked. “There was blood in those pies?”
“Oh yes,” boasted the woman. “The blood of a child really gives a pie a kick!”
Julius couldn’t believe it. Though that was not the first time he tasted blood. The particularly cruel interpretation of a baptism that Julius’ uncle arranged had first afforded him that experience. Nevertheless, Julius was upset. He had thought the woman might be his friend, but he was wrong.
Julius’ misfortune caused him to sob. The old woman tried to ignore it, but the sobs quickly grew more intense and caused Julius’ entire body to convulse. The woman was repulsed.
“Stop that!” commanded the woman.
But Julius could not stop; the woman’s disgust only fueled his self-pity. Watching the old woman gag repeatedly at the mere sight of his body sent Julius into a rather grotesque series of weeping undulations.
The woman could take no more. Using the knife that had sliced Julius’ flesh, she cut the ropes binding him to the table. She tried to tell him to get out, but she could not properly enunciate because of her gagging. Eventually, Julius understood the woman’s shrieking and motioning towards the door, and he scurried out the door into the dark night.
Julius ran through the woods. Though he could not see a thing in the darkness, he could feel the trees bearing down on him, judging him. Julius felt so alone in the woods.
Julius felt his foot strike something, perhaps a root or stone, and he fell face first. The dirty, lonely, sobbing mess of a boy crumbled to the ground. But after a few moments of weeping, Julius heard a voice.
“Are you okay?” asked the mysterious voice.
Julius focused his eyes on the source of the voice and was able to make out the shape of moose in the moonlight.
“Ye- Yes, I’m okay,” blubbered Julius.
“Well don’t just lie there on the ground by yourself,” said the moose. “Come sleep with me.”
The idea of company sounded good to Julius so he began to follow the moose.
“A nice, pretty body like that would feel real nice to sleep against,” said the moose. Julius hesitated. The moose noticed. “Oh come on, I’m just having a little fun,” said the moose. “Here, lay down in this grass here.” The moose lay down on a patch of grass. Julius cautiously lay down on the patch next to the moose.
“There now, doesn’t that feel nice?” asked the moose.
It did feel nice. Lying on the soft grass, a smile broke over Julius’ face. I may have just made a friend, thought Julius. He was just beginning to get comfortable when he was startled by the moose’s leg wrapping around his torso. Julius jumped away from the moose.
“Easy, jumpy,” said the moose. “You got nothing to be afraid of.”
Julius was unsure.
“Look into my eyes,” said the moose. “Do I look like I’m going to hurt you?”
Julius peered into the dark, moonlit eyes. He had to admit that the moose seemed genuine.
“I guess not,” said Julius.
“That’s right,” said the moose. “Now you got to make it up to me.”
“Huh?” said Julius. He was confused.
“Kiss me,” said the moose.
Julius didn’t move.
“Don’t be afraid, I told you I won’t hurt you. Come on. Here,” the moose leaned in for a kiss. Julius hesitated for a moment, but then leaned in himself. Julius was surprised how dry the moose’s lips were once they met in a kiss. He expected it to be much wetter. Suddenly Julius’ intimate moment was interrupted by the sound of laughter.
Julius jumped up. “Who’s there?” he asked.
A nearby bush rustled for a moment, and then two human figures emerged. Each was laughing hysterically and one held a small camcorder.
“Mom? Dad?” asked Julius.
“Woah now, Julius. Don’t get too comfy there,” guffawed Julius’ father.
“You said it!” replied Julius’ mother. “I can’t wait to show the family that tape.”
“Shoot, I can’t wait to watch it as soon as I get home!” said Julius father, proudly brandishing the camcorder.
“Hey stupid, didn’t anyone ever tell you that animals can’t talk?” asked a third voice.
Julius turned back to the moose in time to see its head fall off, revealing his uncle, also laughing hysterically.
“Only you would be dumb enough to get seduced by a moose,” said Julius’ uncle. “Weren’t you even a little suspicious when the mouth wasn’t moving?” Now that his uncle had mentioned it, something did seem strange about the interaction to Julius.
“That naked, dumb diabetic won’t never learn,” said the uncle, climbing out of the moose costume. “Get lost, dummy,” he said to Julius.
Julius ran off again, with the laughter of his family slowly fading away. How many times will my heart be broken, thought Julius? He seemed so close to making friends, but each time turned disastrous. Julius began to consider the possibility that no one in the world would ever like him.
The sun began to rise. Julius watched it rise in all of its majesty over a mountain. Julius admired the shining ball of gas perched just above the mountaintop. One sun lighting the entire world. If one sun can sit so proudly atop that mountain, then so can I, thought Julius. And Julius began to climb the mountain.
Julius climbed the mountain for days. The higher he climbed, the more dangerous his journey became. The terrain became steeper, and the air colder. But even when snow began to fall on his naked body, Julius persevered.
One day, when Julius was resting against a rock, a small squirrel approached him.
“Hi,” said the squirrel.
“Hello,” said Julius skeptically.
“Can you help me?” asked the squirrel.
“I’m not falling for this again,” said Julius. “Animals can’t talk.”
“Sure they can. I’m talking to you right now,” said the squirrel. Julius admitted that it had a point. Besides its mouth was moving.
“All right. What can I help you with?” asked Julius.
“There’s an acorn in that tree over there and I can’t reach it,” said the squirrel motioning to a nearby tree.
Julius stood up and walked over to the tree. He examined it closely, but could not find the acorn that the squirrel told him about.
“I don’t see an acorn at all, little squirrel,” said Julius.
“That’s because it’s a not a tree!” said the squirrel. Then it bit Julius on the heel and ran off.
Julius was at a loss. He was cold, his heel hurt, he had no idea what that supposed “tree” was and he had once again proven his inability to make friends. He collapsed in the snow and began to cry. But Julius quickly realized that crying wouldn’t do him any good. He was going to make a friend, all right.
Julius began to gather snow and form it into a large ball. After he finished that ball, he began to form a second, smaller ball. He placed that on the first. He did the same with a third, even smaller ball. Then, using nearby rocks, he patterned a smiling face on his new snow friend.
“My friend,” said Julius, admiring his creation.
He noticed that the sun had set and decided he ought to get ready for bed. Julius carefully lay the snowman down on its side and lay down next to it. Julius wrapped his arms around his snow friend.
Julius was filled with joy. He held his new friend so tight. He loved it with all the love that he had stored inside of himself for so long. It felt so good to let the love out. Julius fell asleep next to his new friend, smiling sweetly. Then, after Julius was fast asleep, his bare skin began to freeze. The snow fell more heavily and piled onto his body, but he couldn’t feel it. His body shivered, his lips turned blue, his heart stopped beating and he died.
